Debate your case with your neighbor, and do not disclose the secret to another; lest he who hears it expose your shame, and your reputation be ruined. (Proverbs 25:9-10)
If you are having a disagreement, problem or conflict with someone, deal with the problem by dealing with the person with whom you are having the problem. Taking it to someone else may be called seeking counsel, but most likely it will be seen as spreading gossip. Why are we so ready to tell others about the troubles we may be having with another? Why is it easier to talk about someone than it is to talk them? Could it be because our judgment is biased and possibly wrong? When we talk about people instead of talking to them we inevitably malign them and demean ourselves. If we are having a disagreement with someone, we should weigh our words and measure them out properly. That is, we are to speak them to the appropriate party. To do otherwise may lead to the exposing of our shame and the ruin of a good reputation.